I have been married for more than six months now and looking back I have no regrets on the decision I made to wait to have sex until marriage. Over the recent weeks I have spoken to a couple of friends and they kept mentioning to me how hard it felt for them to abstain and my answer has always been simple. For one to successfully abstain (just like any other project) it is not just about making the decision, you have to put in place controls and measures in place to help you remain committed to your decision/commitment.
Over the past few months I have meditating and thinking to myself; what are the benefits of abstaining until marriage? Ideally what does one get from making such a decision? I have successfully come up with 3 basic benefits that I feel I got from the experience. See below:
1. Control over your own body.
There is no better way to have control over your own body than sexually. It is the most rewarding thing you can ever do for your body. I always see friends and colleagues exclaim that man it is tight, it is hard to control yourself when the ladies/guys are all over but I believe such excuses come because one is not certain of the decision they have made. Before I got married, a Christian friend asked me if I could spend a night in same room with my fiancée with out sleeping with her and in mind I thought that would be hard but unless you able to even abstain when opportunities are VERY available; you still haven’t taken full control of your body. And this is not hard it is very possible; and certainly when you are able to abstain even when opportunities show up then you truly have control over your body.
2. Remaining faithful to your partner.
In many young men’s mind (before getting married) you actually think once I get married I will have sex everyday… all the time… THIS IS PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. And that is not because it cannot happen but it is because in most cases circumstances will not allow you to achieve this. There are a number of factors that play here including you or your spouse being tired some days, field work and travel, the menstrual periods, your spouse not being interested, heavy workloads, giving birth etc. Now with all these factors in play it is not possible to have sex everyday… all the time… Now if you are type who has not been abstaining with such circumstances in play, it will be very easy for you to get tempted to cheat on your spouse especially if he has huge workloads or even travels a lot however if you have been abstaining for all the years you were not married, one day/one month/one year/ 5 years etc without sex will not be a bother since you spent about 24 years (for my case) without having sex.
3. Appreciating and enjoying your marriage
I always wonder what people who were not abstaining enjoy about the honeymoon. There is NOTHING as awesome as the honeymoon where you have kept yourselves pure and abstain for all the years you have courting… NOTHING. YOU wouldn’t want to trade it for anything. It is simply amazing. Here is why:
- You get to discover each others’ bodies with no pressure
- You both learn about yourselves and your bodies at the same pace since non of you has experience.
- And you give your full self and your body to someone you truly know has committed their lives to serving you and not just every Tom, Dick and Harry.
It is AMAZING. You certainly will want to experience it YOURSELF and not just hear other people’s stories.
Finally I hope I have been able to convince you to keep abstaining because your efforts are not in vain and by the way, if you have already messed up something, TODAY is a brand new day. Start off NOW. Make that commitment and be sure you will not regret it. So friends, KEEP YOUR ZIP UP!!! Do not open it for anyone except your spouse.